Paying Uncle Sam

Today my CPA’s office called. The secretary asked if I was sitting down.

She proceeded to tell me I’ll have to write a check to Uncle Sam for the same amount of money that used to be my pay for 6 months.

SIX. MONTHS. 💰

A few years ago, that would’ve made my stomach turn.
Today, I was excited.

As you read this you might think I’m crazy but follow my train of thought.

Entrepreneurship is seen as “sexy” right now, and let’s be honest, it kinda is. But it’s also a huge risk and LOTS and LOTS of work!

I’ve been doing my own thing for years now and the fact that I’m to the point where my business brings in enough that I have to pay taxes equal to what six months of my pay would’ve been in corporate America, to me, that says, “Girl, you’re making it! You’re doing it! You’re work is paying off!”

I look at writing that big check not as a negative thing, but a very positive sign showing my business is successful!

Writing that big fat check is a blessing.
It makes me feel abundant!
It makes me feel empowered!
It makes me realize banking on myself was the best risk I ever took!

 

I hope my entrepreneur friends get to experience this feeling! I hope you keep betting on yourself! If I can do it, so can you!

XO,

Dorothy

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Stop Hustling!

It’s a Monday morning, laying on my toddlers bedroom floor, he and I cuddled together, staring out the window watching the snowfall, I realized this is the pace of life I was meant to live and have been missing.

I’ve spent years building my businesses. I built them to have time, to have freedom & to be able to be present for my family.

My most recent one was built during the first year of my child’s life.

In therapy (yes, therapy) I cried because looking at pictures of my beautiful baby, I couldn’t remember all the stages and milestones.

My brain had been consumed with one word. A word our society glorifies. Something that makes us feel important. If we master it, we are told we are successful.

HUSTLE.

I hustled. I hustled hard. I had huge months. I had many 5 figure months. I was busy. I was stressed. I was angry. I was running myself into the ground.

I finally broke.

I thought I was dying. Actually dying. To the point I was afraid my child would grow up not knowing who I was.

I paid THOUSANDS of dollars, seeing so many doctors that my schedule consisted of at least 2-3 appointments a week…for months!

No one found anything but they all asked the same things.

“Are you taking time to take care of yourself? Are you getting sleep? Do you ever take time off?”

You see, the answer to all these were a big fat NO.

I was addicted to hustling, to feeling and seeming important. Successful people were always busy right? So I was always busy! I was grinding. At night I’d go to bed and be thinking of work, customers, my team, sales numbers, emails I needed to write and then my health fears would take over, inevitably my child would wake up at some point & sleep would be a lost cause.

But this is what we are taught. If you “work hard” you’ll be rewarded. “Good things come to those who hustle.”

It’s not true. None of it. Nothing has to be hard. Hard is a choice. Hard is a mindset.

You can also choose to let things be easy. You can choose to work smart, to set boundaries. You can choose your feelings. You can say “NO.” You can work in flow.

You see stress, anger and frustration that come from hustle may short term create success but it’s not sustainable. It creates negativity long term and negative energy cannot attract positivity. Basic law of attraction & frequency energy.

I was given a new mission because I believe we grow through what we go through. My mission is to support other women in business to learn they don’t have to accept “hard” or “hustle” as part of their vocabulary.

All of this started with freeing myself.

Slow down.

Breathe.

Stop to glorification of hustle.

Life’s too short for that shit.

Choose His Truth

Hello friends! It’s been a while! Where have I been? Busy running my business, raising a baby (who’s now 9 months old) and I’ve been struggling for a few months with health issues. We are still waiting on answers and lots of doctors appointments and the waiting has left me feeling defeated, confused, anxious and fearful.

Today, as I sat after my devotions, journal open to write my prayers to God, I experienced such an amazing revelation.

But today I was able to look back through my life and see just how far God has brought me. How many traumatic things He has walked me through, how many close calls He pulled me out of, how much He has protected and provided for me.

He is ALWAYS there and is ALWAYS GOOD!

Why would I doubt now??

The reason I’ve doubted…the enemy. As believers we are always under attack. The devil will find our trigger, our moment of weakness and plant one seed of doubt then sit back and watch us water it and self destruct!

Today, I was able to write out the lies the enemy wanted me to believe, the things he hoped I’d start to shape my life out of. I was then able to confront those lies with the TRUTH of God!

The devil is a jerk (that’s putting it nicely). I not so nicely told him to leave my home and head today. He belongs in hell, not here & he can take his sorry beliefs with him.

Even with our unknown futures we can always trust a known and never changing God! He knows our futures and somehow, He works all things together for our good. Today more than ever I’m thankful for that!

God, you are amazing! 

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5 Tips for Beating the Pregnancy Comparison Trap

Before I was pregnant I will admit, I was one of those girls who compared her body to people I saw on Instagram or Facebook.  I think most women have compared themselves to someone else at some point in their lives. Especially in our society it seems like we’re taught we’re supposed to look a certain way so finding yourself in the comparison trap is super easy.  Magazines, TV and the internet show a certain “figure” that is unattainable…even for those portraying it…photoshop had done damage to our brains!

But moving on!

What I wasn’t prepared for was the comparison game that was ahead of me in pregnancy.  I swear that it’s worse than the non pregnancy comparison…at least for me and I know if I’m feeling it, that there are other women out there wearing the same feelings.

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The more my body changed, the more I found myself comparing. Here are some of the things that I’ve found myself saying or floating through my brain…

 “Should I look like this at 12 weeks, 16 weeks, 21 weeks?, Am I getting too big too fast? OMG she doesn’t have cellulite on her butt and legs and she’s farther along than me! What’s wrong with me!? Crap, I hope I don’t get stretch marks like so and so’s picture I saw on IG! Where’s the belly butter? How does she still look that HOT at 28 weeks pregnant? HOLY HELL she’s still so small?? Wait, she still has muscle definition like that…what’s wrong with me that I lost almost all of mine? UGH. Good grief look how cute she is pregnant in her adorable maternity clothes and I can’t find one thing to fit me that doesn’t make me look like a giant COW! She said she only gained 20lbs her whole pregnancy, great! I’m doomed then sitting pretty at 25lbs in 25 weeks!  How is she so happy being pregnant…I’m over here still puking at 25 weeks and she makes this whole experience look glamorous.  OMG she just had a baby FIVE WEEKS AGO?!? How does she have a flat stomach with abs already? Ok, I’m just done…”

 

I found myself spiraling down this dark hole of social media pregnancy posts AKA the highlight reel where NO ONE shares the crap of life.  Well I’m sharing the crap because I believe in keeping it as real as possible.  I’ll tell you, it got dark in that hole.  The comparison game is the quickest way to unhappiness, to depression, to anger, to frustration and it’s just not a good place to go.  I realized pretty quickly that I needed to change somethings starting with these:

1)UNFOLLOWING PEOPLE AND ACCOUNTS THAT MADE ME FEEL SUBPAR

Instead, I choose to follow people and accounts that had encouraging, real, uplifting messages and didn’t just only share the highlight reel of life. This way my feed was full of things that helped me, not hurt me. I encourage you to do the same thing.

              2) SPENDING LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

This was a hard one for me!  For a few years this is how I have built my business BUT when social media becomes unhealthy or an addictive behavior (anyone else roll over and scroll first thing after the alarm goes off? Yeah me too) it’s time to change that behavior.  I started setting times of day I was allowed on social. Less social = less stress. It also meant that I was paying more attention to MY life, MY family and MY world. I was getting more in touch with my feelings and processing them. It meant I was spending more time getting ready for the big life change that’s coming in December.

      3) RECOGNIZING THAT EVERYONE’S EXPERIENCE IS DIFFERENT

With pregnancy as much as we and the doctor’s want there to be a one size fits all approach with everything from weight gained in pregnancy, to how to deliver babies, pregnancy is NOT one size fits all.

I was super healthy coming into pregnancy, very active, great nutrition habits and I still have had a crappy experience despite my best efforts.  I always assumed I’d stay almost as active throughout pregnancy and that was nearly impossible and you’ll see why in a second.  I always assumed I’d only gain 25lbs because of my nutrition and exercise and you’ll see why in a second that isn’t the case.  I always assumed I’d be glowing with only a few days of looking terrible and feeling bad.  Yeah…not my experience at all.  

Morning sickness (who are we kidding it’s all day) that I’m still having at week 25, weight gain even though I’m eating less thanks to throwing up, insomnia (hello baggy eyes and goodbye glow), low BP issues and headaches that last for 24 hours which mean my workouts have been limited, blood sugar irregularities with my type 1 that are driving me insane, not feeling like myself at all (can someone please send Dorothy back?  I miss her!) and a SUPER low baby causing back pain are just a few of the things that have plagued me.

Not to scare those of you that haven’t ever been pregnant, but again, I’m coming at you with my experience and keeping it real.  You could be glowing, super active and breeze through this thing…or maybe not. Just be prepared for all outcomes. And now many of you will know why I say “NEVER AGAIN!”

       4) ACCEPTANCE

This is still something I’m working on and I have a feeling I will continue to work on it until the day I have baby B.  Trying to be ok with the fact that what I’m going through is nothing like what I envisioned for myself.  Realizing that this journey is as much for me to learn from, as it is for someone else reading, this who might be feeling the same way, and me sharing means they don’t feel alone with their feelings. Because at this point if you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I believe that nothing happens to us, but for us and to share it to help others.

I’m also trying to remember daily that even through all off the hard stuff that I can still find things to be joyful for.  Here’s a glimpse into how I’m keeping this real…this morning I jumped up mid bible study and ran to the bathroom to puke saying “you can make it, you can make it…” with the dog sprinting after me (you’re welcome now that you have that visual), hunched over the toilet bowl (we’ve become good friends) wiping puke off of it I thought, “OK, yeah this sucks…alot, but what are three things I can actually appreciate today because I can’t stay in the space of feeling sorry for myself?!”  I know it sounds corny but I actually did this to switch my mind from the suckfest that just happened to what I could be joyful for.  My three were:

1) that baby boy is healthy

2) that I feel God speaking to me through my bible study

3) that I was up early this morning to enjoy my favorite time of day  

So if you’re finding yourself in a suckfest, instead of continuing into that downward spiral, find something you can celebrate right then. It doesn’t matter how big or how small!  There is always something you can show gratitude for!

         5) LOVE & GRACE

Closing this thing out, what I’ve really found is a need for love. This is the HARDEST thing most of us women will ever do.  And through all the changes, the hormones and the craziness, we really need to work on love and giving ourselves some grace. Let’s cut ourselves some slack! We’re doing the best that we can do and that’s all that matters.  It’s YOUR very unique and individual journey, no one elses! The body is doing an amazing thing.  Who cares if it doesn’t look like our best friends when she was pregnant, or that model on “fit pregnancy” magazine.  It’s uniquely ours and it’s creating a miracle.  Love it for that, love it through that and it will love you back.

So here’s to you mama, reading this blog! You are strong, awesome and amazing.  I hope you’ll take some tips away from this and I’d love to hear your feedback!

XOXO

Dorothy

Positive Money Mindset & The Key to Wealth You’re Missing

Money, money, money, money…money!

Ok, I’ll stop being funny…no I won’t that was a lie.

But for real today we’re going to talk about a subject that most people are uncomfortable talking about…MONEY and FINANCES. HOWEVER before anyone gets all weird on me I want to tell you one thing, MONEY IS A NEUTRAL RESOURCE. It’s not good or bad.  Money isn’t a problem but it’s our attitude towards it.

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I want you to know where I’m coming from, I do have a business degree and I did work in the banking industry for 4 years prior to joining the health industry SO I do have a good understanding of what I’m about to talk about. And because of that background my eyes have been opened to so many financial opportunities that others miss, that I really feel I have to talk about this!

 

I want you to know that Money isn’t my obsession but what I am obsessed with is freedom and the dreams that can be built not only for me and my family but you and yours when you do have financial freedom. Everyone deserves a future they can look forward to, not one they dread and because people manage to dig such financial holes, life turns into a drudgery and you can never retire.

I want you to remember that It’s not faith to live hand to mouth and it’s not good stewardship.

 

OK So lets get rolling!

 

You know what’s funny but not funny? So many of us would like to make more money and there’s NOTHING wrong with that but we feel like we’re greedy or selfish and we feel bad because we want it.  I’m here to tell you that’s a thought built on a crummy belief system.  Somewhere along the line someone probably said something to you about “rich people being greedy, “ or “money is the root of all evil,” or  something negative around having or making money or my favorite one is that you can’t be religious and have money…give me a break. All of these things you saw or heard by people close to you most likely and it was because they had their own insecurities around money, these people had poverty mindsets, they were consumed with jealousy and envy for what others had…both of these things are unbiblical. And being consumed by those they’ll never have the prosperity mindset.  What we tend to see is happen in the money world is negative thinking around money is passed down generation to generation BUT I’m here to tell you that chain can be broken with you!

 

Can you relate to having negative thoughts around money? Do you maybe come from a family with negative beliefs around money that I mentioned? I know I can!

The even worse part is that when we have negative thoughts around money, we will never have money!  It’s like repellant.  Negative thoughts don’t bring in positive results. So saying things like “I’m always broke,” “My money is all gone before I get paid,” “I’ll never get ahead financially,” “I’ll never be able to retire,” “I can never afford vacation,” is manifesting being BROKE! You’re literally speaking what you don’t want for yourself into existence because that’s all you’re dwelling on. Remember, perception is your reality and what you focus on grows in your life. There are people in the same financial situation as you that choose to still see the silver lining and the positive and they will be the ones that come out ahead.

 

So what can we do to change our money situation? I’ve got a number of things for you today, listen up:

 

Number one, change how your view money. It’s not evil. If you’re a crappy person before you have money, you’ll be a crappy person with money but you all watching are great people with big caring hearts so you’ll be wonderful people with money! Get me?  And if you’re a great person you will most likely not be selfish or greedy and you’ll be using that money as a way to bless others as well.  You will broaden your vision beyond yourself and your families and you’ll seek out ways to serve to serve the needs of others and your community.  You will be cheerful givers and be helping to change the world.

Number two, change how you speak about money.  Only talk about money in positive terms…even if you’re struggling financially you need to say things like, “I have all the money I need to pay my bills and then some,” “I am financially secure,” “my work is of high value and I’m compensated well for it,” speak it into existence because what you start to believe you will actually achieve and attract just like you saying I’m broke all the time actually keeps you doing the habits that keep you broke.

Number 3, make a budget people! You need to know where your money goes and you need to be responsible for it! Stop spending on eating out multiple times a week, hitting up convenience stores on your break, upgraded satellite packages with 100 channels you never watch, clothes you don’t need to keep up with the latest season’s trends, getting a new vehicle every 4 years and always having revolving debt on something that depreciates quickly, and keeping up with the Jones’s…hint…the Jones’ are probably trying to keep up with you and you’re both making each other broke!  Stop it! Stop it until you can really afford to live like that! I read a statistic today that the average American household is $15,263 in credit card debt alone. Holy Moses people, we’ve gotta get it together! If God’s blessed you with enough but you’re being financially irresponsible, you can’t keep crying for more!  When God entrusts you with His money and you’re irresponsible, what makes you think he’d entrust you with more?

SO you’re probably like OK Dorothy, thanks for those three tips but they don’t change alot so how do I get out of my situation? How do I create financial freedom? I can’t work more hours, my boss won’t give me a raise, I don’t have the education for a different position, I feel stuck. Well I just gave you three tips, but #4 is my favorite and most people don’t take advantage of it because they think it’s too much work, and they start making excuses (which we talked about yesterday) as to why it won’t work…blah blah blah…Remember this is truthbomb Thursday and I don’t sugar coat things.  If you want change, you create change and if changing your financial future is important to you, you will get over your excuses, otherwise you’ll continue to complain and stay in your rut…plain and simple.

Well grab your paper and grab your pen for tip Number 4 because this is the key to the castle.

CREATE RESIDUAL INCOME

What’s that you ask? It’s the ability to make money even when you’re not “working.”  Have you heard the term residual income before? Maybe you have and maybe you didn’t understand what it really meant. It’s truly the key to financial security. Residual income is what can happen after you put time, effort and sometimes money into a job/business to continue to get paid for the work months & years after it’s done. What you need to realize about your 9-5 is that it’s  linear income. Linear income is directly related to the number of hours you work. If you work 40 hours, you get paid for 40 hours of work. Once you go home, you’re not making income. BUT Once you set up your business to earn residual income, you continue to make money while doing other things –vacationing, sleeping, playing with your kiddos, whatever.

 

I want you to remember this fact, the average millionaire has 7 streams of income and 5 of them are residual.  So how many streams do you have of income? Just through your employer? Don’t feel bad if you do, that’s why we’re here today is to generate some ideas for you!  

 

  1. Affiliate sales.  Do you love target, amazon, thrive market or practically any other company? Odds are that you could be an affiliate for them and make a % of the sales from people ordering through your link.  If people are always asking you where you shop or where you found xyz, why not get paid for making the referral?
  2. What do you have a good knowledge base in or people ask you about frequently? Write an ebook that you can passively sell on sites like Esty or on your blog!
  3. Are you creative? Use sites like Zazzle and Cafepress to create anything for t-shirts to mugs and stationary for people to purchase.
  4. If that E-book does well, take your knowledge base and create a mini course online for people to buy and go through on their own.

So those were a few smaller ideas, but moving up the latter lets look at few of the big guns that will require an investment but pay out!!

  1. If you’re able invest in real estate and have rental properties.
  2. Create and manufacture your own product and sell it
  3. Franchising! This may be the most pricey option but perhaps going in with your family would help cushion that.
  4. And lastly my favorite and you might be surprised by, Network Marketing. Network marketing is great because the price point is usually pretty low for starting a business and if you find a company where the timing is right to join (not a company that’s already super saturated) and they’re positioned to excel with growth in the next few years and the products you can 100% stand behind and the price point is right for your market you can make substantial residual income.  NWM may get a bad wrap sometimes but it’s been around for decades and isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and IF (that’s the key word) if you get out of your own way, choose the right company and team to join, cut the excuses and don’t care what others think that aren’t paying your bills, and you can be teachable and apply your training in the RIGHT way and be a professional (trust me I see plenty doing this the WRONG way), you’ll go far!

 

So I hope that these tips were helpful to you today!  I know that so many of you watching want to create a future that you can look forward to, I know that you want to create a lasting legacy for your family, you want to be present for your family, you want to call the shots on your life, your time and your earning potential.  I just handed you the key to the castle so now it’s your turn to do the work. If you need more help reach out to me!

 

I want you to remember something, most people think it’s crazy to work your side biz 2-5 years with consistent hustle to become financially secure, but isn’t it more crazy to work 40 years and stay broke?

 

I hope this message blessed you today!  I hope you’ll make the changes that you need to make!  If you want more info like this, comment below!  I recently hosted a LIVE webinar about Why I’m changing my BIG vision, why belief in myself has become my number one priority and my clear cut strategy for success and how you can do the same in your life! If you’d like access to it make sure to comment as well and I will send it your way so you have the tools to start your own life transformation. 

See ya next time!

Dorothy

 

Opportunity Knocks

Have you ever had an opportunity presented to you, but it seemed like a risk, a leap of faith or too much hard work so you passed it up and went with what you thought was the sure thing??

We all have!

I want to share a portion of the sermon I listened to this weekend shared a prime example of that!  The pastor’s wife, when she was growing up her dad had money to invest and had 2 choices.  1 was a tobacco warehouse and living in southern VA that seemed like the sure thing.  The 2nd was an up and coming drink company.  He went with the tobacco warehouse because it seemed less risky and not such a huge leap.  You know what happened? The warehouse went under and that drink company, well it was Cocacola!  Can you imagine?!  

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If that was you wouldn’t you be kicking yourself?  I know I would and I know I’ve experienced those myself.  Maybe you can look back at a job opportunity or the opportunity to start a business, a relationship, a big move somewhere, anything.

 

So many times we pray, we beg God to help us change our situation in one area of our life or another.  Praying is where we go right BUT what we do next is where we tend to fail.

 

God might not answer us in the way we’d expect.  It might be a whisper and we were expecting a marching band.  It might be through a person we just met and we were expecting it through someone we’ve known forever that we consider the wisest person we know. We want God to send a skywriting airplane, or a postcard with exact directions to our next step.

 

That’s not how he operates.  You pray for something to show up and we have a preconceived notion of how it should look, how it should go, that it should fit some specific mold we’ve made and God breaks the mold.  

 

When we pray to see opportunities we need to drop all of our requirements.  God’s plan doesn’t fit into a box.  We need to pray for the opportunity but then also to have an open mind, heart and eyes to see it when it comes.

 

And when it comes in a form you didn’t expect, don’t question, JUST JUMP!  That’s the biggest thing I’ve learned.  All you have to have is the faith of a mustard seed.  Yes it might be scary but I want you to remember that faith and fear both demand you believe in something you cannot see, you choose!  If you go with fear, you’ll never live in that full potential and opportunity God sent you way.  If you jump and allow your faith to be your guide, not saying everything will always be roses, but you’ll you be far happier, have less regrets and be living in your purpose and you will serve the world in such a greater way…your mind will be blown!

 

Whatever God puts in front of you DO IT!

You cant just dabble, you can’t just put one toe in to test the water. You have to be ALL IN!

If you want more info like this, leave me some comments!  Thursday (7/21) night at 8pm eastern I’ll be hosting a LIVE webinar about why I’m changing my BIG vision, why belief in myself has become my number one priority and my clear cut strategy for success and how you can do the same in your life! It’s by invitation only, so if you want the tools to start your own life transformation. Drop your contact info to ask for access!  Can’t wait to see you there!

xoxo,

Dorothy

6 Tips to a Positive Mindset

Every single day you have the opportunity to start over, fresh slate, you’re brand new.

Don’t drag tomorrow, last week, last year into today.  Don’t add worries about tomorrow, next week, next year into today.

To fully live a beautiful life, to appreciate life, to be happy, you must live in the present moment.  You cannot go backwards in time and fix anything and going backwards will only cause you pain and suffering.

You cannot control the outcomes of the future fully.  Don’t project your fear and worries forward into your life.

What you can do, is your best today.  You can be immersed in each moment as they come.  You can love deeply, smile wide, embrace each minute you’ve been gifted. Feel the sun on your skin, the wind in your hair, the beat of your heart in your chest.  CHERISH RIGHT NOW!

All of this of course is a mindset shift and takes work, but it’s well worth it!  So how do you change your mindset to become more positive, to release fear, to embrace happiness and thankfulness?

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Here are a few tips on how to change your mindset:

 

  1. Practice Gratitude Multiple times a day.  When you wake up in the morning express thanks that you’re opening your eyes again. That you have another day ahead of you.  Take some time to journal three things you appreciate in your life, it doesn’t matter how big or small they are.  As your day progresses, find things to be thankful for that you might have otherwise overlooked, like the smile from a stranger or someone holding the door for you.
  2. Do Something Nice for Someone Else.  Big or small act it doesn’t matter.  Start a chain reaction. Pay for someone’s coffee, help a co-worker that’s overwhelmed, pay a compliment to someone instead of keeping your thought to yourself.
  3. Turn Off the News and TV.  Do you realize most of what you hear on the news is absolutely dreadful? It’s depressing and negative. Why inundate your brain with that?  SKIP!
  4. Read More or Listen to Audios.  Pick up a personal growth and development book! Gasp, you might have to walk into the “self help” section of the book store!  But trust me, filling your brain with GOOD, positive information will transform your life.  Pick books based on areas of your life you’d like to improve!  If you’re not a reader, download audible or podcasts to listen to!  Make your commuting time one of growth versus spending it scrolling Facebook. If you need suggestions feel free to message me.  I probably own half of the books and audios at this point!
  5. Cut Down Your Social Media Time. Yup I’m going there! While social sites can be great, they can also be giant time sucks and ways to start feeling bad about yourself and comparing yourself to others.  Remember that what people share on SM is their highlight reel! If you want to be part of social media sites, give yourself a time limit so you don’t get sucked in.  Also, stop following people that leave you feeling less than or that you find yourself in a comparison game with or that post lots of negative things.  
  6. Choose Your Circle Wisely. This is probably the hardest one you’ll have to work on.  You’re most like the 5 people you spend time with.  Start paying attention to those you socialize with on a regular basis.  Are they negative or positive? Are they growing or stagnant? Are you in the comparison game with them? How do you feel in these relationships? Are they sucking your energy? Do you leave your time with these people feeling awful? If so, it’s time to find a new circle!  Don’t feel bad about this!

 

Which tips are you going to start implementing??  I’d love to know! Leave me a comment below!

Xoxo,

Dorothy